Hair Today

By: Lauren

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot idea (& my muses). I'm just a lowly student who has no money.

Distribution: If you'd like to archive this, please email to let me know where it's going & I'll most likely say it's okay :)

Rating: G, nothing bad here :-)

* * * * * * *

            Morning. Balki is seated on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal, watching Wile E. Coyote chase the roadrunner. "You can't catch him like that--" He shoveled a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

            The bathroom door opened and Larry came out, holding something. He shuffled his way to the couch and glared down at Balki.

            Balki turned. "Want to watch cartoons with me, Cousin? The roadrunner is out-smarting Wile E. Coyote again."

            Larry sighed. "For some reason, I've always felt like that coyote," he commented, then held up what he was holding. "Balki, did you do something to my shampoo? I ran the brush through my hair once and now I think half of it is still in the brush."

            Balki shifted on the couch, trying to get a better look at his cousin's hair. "No, Cousin, most of it is still on your head."

            Larry sighed again. "You didn't answer my question."

            "Cousin, I didn't do anything to."

            "You didn't?" Balki shook his head. Larry's brow arched. "Oh, my Lord!" He turned and scuffed his way back to the bathroom.

            Balki shrugged and went back to his cereal and cartoons.

            Later that morning at the Chronicle. Larry is at his desk, working on an article. Everything looks normal... except that he's wearing a Cubs baseball cap.

            The elevator door opened and Balki came out, followed by Harriet.

            "Look this," Balki said, referring to Larry, who glanced up.

            Harriet crossed her arms. "Why are you wearing that hat?"

            "Balki..." Larry began, then shook his head, as an irritated look crossed his face.

            "What's the matter, baby?" Harriet asked, glancing at Balki, then back at Larry.

            "Cousin thinks his hair is losing," Balki supplied, earning a wide-eyed look from Larry.

            "Is that all?" Harriet shook her head, obviously understanding what Balki meant. "That isn't a big deal." She paused, shrugging. "Carl's bald," she added, referring to her husband. She turned and went back to the elevator, the door closing after her.

            Larry's brow arched. "Bald?"

            "Awe, Cousin," Balki began, then removed the cap, "you aren't bald yet."

            "Yet?" Larry repeated, his voice rising. He paused, seemingly picturing it, and his eyes widened. He snatched the cap from Balki and put it back on. "Balki, don't you have mail to sort?"

            "I finished twenty minutes ago," Balki replied.

            Larry gave him his best menacing look. "Leave... me... alone."

            "Okay! You do'n have to beat me under the head." Balki turned and walked toward the archives.

            That evening, Balki sat at the counter, which was covered with assorted unidentifiable items. He picked one particular item up and looked back down at a scrap of paper.

            The apartment door opened and Larry came in. He hung up his coat and stopped when he noticed Balki at the counter. "What are you doing?"

            Balki was about to pour the liquid he had picked up, but stopped to look at Larry. "I know just what you need, Cousin. I'm making it now."

            "Balki, no." Larry walked over to the counter. "Remember last year when I got that cold and you gave me your 'Mypos cure' that made me sleep for three days--?"

            “Cousin, I explained. It would have only been a nice little twenty minute nap if you waited to let me tell you how much to take,” Balki replied.

            Larry rubbed the side of his head. “Then why didn’t you just make the amount I was supposed to take?” He paused, but didn’t let Balki answer. “So what is this you’re making?” He took off the cap. “Something that grows hair, perhaps? It won’t make me sleep for a week, will it?”

            “Of course not, do’n be ridiculous!” Balki said. “This is the Mypos hair tonic. It makes hair grow. That’s the reason why the older women on Mypos have mustaches. Cousin, I just want to help.”

            “Then stay away from me with that,” Larry said, then paused. “There’s no side effects?”

            Balki shook his head. “None.”

            Larry looked like he was considering it, then sat at the counter. “How does it work? What do I do with it?”

            “Wash in, rinse out,” Balki answered, holding up the glass jar.

            “All of it? This is how much I’m supposed to use?” Larry asked, taking the jar. He held it up to the light, eyeing it.

            “Cousin, just try it. I promise you it will work,” Balki said.

            Larry gave him a wary look before standing and heading toward the bathroom.